Dear Bollywood Ghosts, Why Don't You Have More Swag?

It feels like forever since Bollywood ghosts kept us glued to our seats, out of fear or perhaps laughter. You know, those white-saree-clad-payal-wearing ghosts who needed candles to walk in the dark?  Where have they gone? What are they doing these days? Have they found new jobs? We have questions.

Even more sad than the curious case of the disappearing white-saree ghost is the disappearance of the ghost with a sense of humour. Also, where are those fun loving ghosts who sang the coolest songs and had more moves than Jagger?

Take this amazing dancing skeleton dance from the movie, Bhoot Bungla. I mean, come on! Such fun. Much lol.

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     Check out the pot-bellied skeleton on the left.

Instead, we have to deal with ghosts who turn people into apples or use cockroaches as weapons of destruction. Hain ji? Apples and cockroaches? What's the world coming to? Raise your standards a bit, please.  

These are five of the most annoying things that we need the beings from the spirit world to STOP doing as soon as possible:
 

1. Wearing more foundation than several brides put together and hovering around low-lying disco lights. The only thing that does for you, is to make your teeth shine like neon stickers.

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Wow. That is one happy ghost.
 

2. Those super shady, slightly creepy, but mostly funny on-the-spot transformations. Why was the ghost in incognito mode anyway? In no universe can it be scary to watch someone turn into a ghost whisker by whisker.

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I would scream too if I saw someone grow facial hair at that speed.
 

3. Freaking people out by destroying their bedrooms. I understand breaking ugly furniture, but what do they have against every pillow, bedsheet and curtain in the house?

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Sort of feels like this ghost just needs a hug.   
 

4. If your talent with special effects happen to be so limited that we can almost see you hanging on the wires, then you need to find a new job. Come up, ghosties! COME ON!!

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Here flies Veena. The ghost who moved in circles.

 

5. Ghosts who forget that they're the celebrities of the undead world and start chasing people on foot. You have superpowers. WHY ARE YOU RUNNING?

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Is the most dim-witted ghost in the world also a secret fly-catcher? #ShutYourMouthWoman

 

A lot more swag, and a little less powder. That's all we are asking for here, Bollywood ghosts.

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