NRI Realises Why They Delayed Returning To India After 11 Years In US: 'Terrified Of Judgment'

After 11 years in the United States, including two master's degrees and a career that gradually stalled, an NRI has caught social media's attention, stating they had finally decided to return home. In a now-viral post titled, 'I learnt the hard way but I learnt. Finally, I am coming home,' the NRI highlighted that the fear of social judgment had kept them abroad longer than necessary.

The NRI said the logistics and finances of moving back did not worry him as much as what the relatives and friends would say about them, which stalled their decision to pack bags and come home.

"It took me 11 years in the US, two master's degrees and a career that quietly sputtered out to realise something basic," the user said in a Reddit post, adding: "I obsessed over what the relatives would say and what story would circulate about my return. Then a few weeks ago, the truth hit me. I feel foolish /stupid for taking this long to learn it."

The NRI said they had cut off friends for years due to shame over their career setbacks, assuming they were judging their progress. However, a recent encounter with an old friend, who expressed hurt over their disappearance, changed their perception about the issue.

"He was just hurt that I had disappeared. The courtroom I built in my head did not exist. I was the judge, the jury, and the only executioner. People do not watch you as closely as you fear. The few who do comment will forget by next week. Once you accept this, the thought stops being lonely and becomes liberating," the NRI stated.

The NRI said they were now preparing to return to India, having learned not to take themselves too seriously. "I am heading back to India now. For the first time, I am going to stop taking myself so seriously. Whatever people think when I land, they will think it for a day. Then they will go right back to their own lives, and I will go back to mine."

Check The Viral Post Here:

I learnt the hard way but I learnt. Finally, I am coming home.
by u/Substantial_Ask2311 in returnToIndia

Also Read | Polish Woman Impressed During Her First Indian Bus Ride: 'Gift Bags, 5-Course Meals And On-Time Arrival'

Social Media Reactions

As the post went viral, it resonated with other returning NRIs who faced similar internal battles that caused them to delay their return home. 

"This is one sad, hard lesson! I'm so happy you are past it and were brave enough to say it and face it," said one user while another added: "Firstly, welcome home brother. I was on the same boat. Initially had a lot of thoughts and doubts. Once you land back and start figuring things out, everything falls into place. No one judges the way you think. Most of my friends and family were glad that we were back."

A third commented: "Kind of on the same page. Came back after almost 11 years. Landed last week. Struggling emotionally, a lot of disillusionment about life in the US, life in India, and just life as a functioning adult, but doing okay overall so far, considering everything."

A fourth said: "Those who mind, don't matter. Those who matter, don't mind. Reconnect with all those who tried to stay in touch with you. Share your fears, thank them for being your friends. When we're in our late forties, we value those who want to stay in touch despite their own schedule and stresses but who expect nothing in return."