Toxic Parenting: Signs You Need To Be Watchful For

Do you control your kids with threats or guilt? Do you often resort to physical pain or abuse or emotional blackmail to discipline your child? Do you openly criticize your daughter in front of her friends? Do your kids have intense emotional or physical reactions after spending enough time with you? Do you fail to take responsibility for your behavior or apologize, at the least?

If you answered YES to most of the above questions, odds are high that you are being slightly toxic parents to your kids, thereby inviting trouble for them in the long run. Parenting is challenging to say the least, and parenting without the framework of a healthy and nurturing childhood is even more difficult, but don't lose hope. The toxic parenting draws to a close NOW.

1. You dash their hope and fail to provide them with much-needed love and a sense of affirmation and security

‘Why were you even born?' ‘Why can't you be more responsible like your brother?' This is the worst of all. If you carry an assurance of love and care, and at the same time mistreat your child or engage in extremely unloving things in the name of love, you are being toxic. Love surpasses more than just expressing feelings; it is also a sense of behaving. Tough love might seem to work at times, but it is not the only line of action to take if you want your child to blossom into a well-rounded adult.

On the other hand, a healthy parent knows how to love truly and unconditionally, where to draw appropriate boundaries, and accordingly disciplines a child, while simultaneously honoring his/her genuineness. As a result, the child learns how to care for himself/herself in loving, nourishing and self-disciplining ways. 

2. You are overly critical

Do you often subtly use loving teasing or labeling, like ‘Meet our lazy child,' ‘He's intelligent but an underachiever,' or ‘She's a stubborn teenager'. As parents, you may feel that it is your birthright to criticize or mend your children's wrong behavior from time to time. Otherwise, they might not learn how to do very many things properly or make fatal mistakes. As a toxic parent, you take this a step further and are overly critical about everything your child engages in, rage at them frequently, or discharge disproportionate punishment by withholding affection. 

It's okay to occasionally pick up on your child, but if you have a genuine concern to fruitfully discuss with your child, you should be honest and non-judgmental, as opposed to making mean jokes.

3. You demand unreasonable attention from them or put your feelings first

Toxic individuals constantly force children to suppress their own feelings at the cost of winning over them. On the contrary, a good parent will provide enough space for children to grow and develop without demanding constant attention to fulfill their own needs.

Do this: Once in a while, put yourself in your child's shoes. Imagine yourself at the same phase as your child and think about what you would have liked doing at that moment. Did you need a tight hug or just a shoulder to cry on? Think about how you would have felt in a similar scenario and then approach your child with the much-needed understanding and compassion you wish you had been awarded. Remember to keep your inner child in your thoughts constantly to guide you through the way. 

Removing toxicity from your life may seem impossible, especially if you identify yourself with one of the above negative behavioral patterns. Unless you take necessary action, though, it will be seemingly impossible to correct the emotional and psychological damage that you can do to your children. Make them believe that there is someone in the world who cares deeply and can provide for all of their emotional and physical needs in healthy ways!