After a night out with a woman he met on Tinder, Bristol-resident Liam Smyth invited his date back to his apartment for some wine and movie. An hour into the movie, his date left to use the restroom. She returned with "a panicked look in her eye". And then the date went "down the toilet."
"'I went for a poo in your toilet...and it would not flush...I reached into the toilet bowl, wrapped it in tissue paper, and threw it out of the window'," Mr Smyth said his date confessed.
Bravely, Mr Smyth told his date they would go outside, pick it up and dispose it off - err - properly. Except, the 'package' was stuck between two window panes because of a design flaw.
"She climbed in head first after her own turd, reached deeper into the window, bagged it up, and passed it out, over the top and back into the toilet from whence it came. She called out to me to help her climb out from the window, I grabbed her waist and I pulled. But she was stuck. Stuck fast," said Mr Smyth.
Worried, Mr Smyth called the fire department.
Unfortunately, fire department had to smash his bathroom window and the post-graduate student turned to the Internet to help him pay for a new window.
"You deserve a donation just for brightening my day! Here's a tip for people going on a first date: Make sure you "go" before you go!" wrote Iain Strachan.
Charlotte Spires wrote, "As someone who used to work in PG support... I have to donate to your cause! Props and poops to you for turning a moment of madness into shared laughter for the masses."
"On my way to work, your story made me LOL on a packed train!" said Robyn W.
As for the two, the post didn't mention whether there will be a date "number two". Click for more trending news