Cannes 2014: What on Earth Were These 'Celebs' Doing on the Croisette?

Highlights

• We've stopped asking ourselves why Mallika Sherawat shows up at the Cannes Film Festival with such alarming regularity - this is her fifth year there - but we're perplexed by the presence of these folks.
• Jackky Bhagnani
• The Youngistaan actor was a special guest at the inauguration of the India Pavilion. Don't even ask. Jackky's inexplicable presence must be a major burn for almost every male actor in Bollywood.
• Deana Uppal
• This former Miss India UK was recently evicted from reality show Khatron Ke Khiladi and was clearly at a loose end. Somehow, she found her way to the red carpet in Cannes, among the great and the good of cinema across the globe. In her defence, Deana - looking every bit the trashy reality star in peekaboo blue and green - was just one of the 'celebrity' blips on one of the world's most glamorous and celebrated red carpets.
• Kendall Jenner
• Kim Kardashian's less famous little sister showed up in Cannes looking remarkably un-Kardashian-like in Chanel. She's a model but, with a resume that boasts of nothing grander than the covers of Teen Vogue and Seventeen, doesn't even breathe the same air as the Victoria's Secret contingent that floods Cannes every year.
• Paris Hilton
• This hotel heiress is proof that money can indeed buy happiness, if you measure happiness in the number of big ticket events you can be invited to without having any right to be there. Paris is famous only for being Paris and yet there she is at Cannes.
• Lady Victoria Hervey
• British aristocrat Lady Victoria Hervey fancies herself an actress. She's been in hot pursuit of roles in Hollywood for several years and the fact that you've probably never heard of her should tell you everything you need to know. She did land a role as a waitress in an obscure movie starring Tom Hanks' son Colin but obviously she occupies a far less exalted position in the Hollywood pecking order than the legit celebrities she's been rubbing shoulders with in Cannes.
• And finally, Uday Chopra
• We know how Uday Chopra managed to get himself to Cannes - he produced the opening film starring Nicole Kidman - we just need to pinch ourselves every time we see his image sitting next to Nicole at Cannes opening ceremony.