Gadkari Leaks. A Piss Take.

Published: May 05, 2015 14:59 IST
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As kids, my friends and I  would get nearly beaten up by maalis or angry old uncles for taking a leak on their plants or garden hedges while playing a game or returning from school. "Bhaago", maali or uncle would shout at the sight of us kids zipping down. "Arre, tumhare ped sookh rahe hain" (Your plants are drying up) we would respond with giggles while zipping up and preparing to run. As grown-ups we would remember it as just childish behaviour, sometimes feeling bad for the plants we had "watered" for fun and also for the poor maalis.

But not anymore. Thanks to Gadkari Leaks, we now know that the grumpy uncles and the illeterate maalis knew nothing about the qualities of human piss. They were ignorant to be pissed off by us kids who were actually performing a public service.

Union Minister Nitin Gadkari has solved the country's drought problem literally in a splash. While addressing a workshop organized by his party on fighting drought, Mr Gadkari said that the solution lies, well, within. "Water plants with your urine, and you will see amazing results." And please don't laugh it off. Mr Gadkari actually practices what he preaches at his Delhi residence, according to a video of his address to farmers.  

We also now know that Mr Gadkari relieves himself in a bucket, thanks to the video of his conversation with farmers in Nagpur.

Gadkari lays particular emphasis on the orange, which may explain why it will be years before I am tempted to go near one.

Another minister, Maneka Gandhi, claims to clean her office with purifiers made of cow urine. The Rajasthan government is now likely to use the same for hospitals.   

So given the demand-supply dynamics, what Mr Gadkari  can immediately do is start some National Urinal Mission. Install "mutra-daan" machines all over our cities so that 'natural treasure" we  keep flushing away  can be put to good use.

Better still, Mr Gadkari can campaign for an MPLADS kind of  urine fund, where every MP contributes his "doh boond" for the farmer to water his "doh beegha zameen".

(Mohd Asim is Senior News Editor, NDTV 24x7)

Disclaimer: The opinions expressed within this article are the personal opinions of the author. The facts and opinions appearing in the article do not reflect the views of NDTV and NDTV does not assume any responsibility or liability for the same.
 


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