Pappu ki mummy was asking Sweety's bua, "Suniye ji...did you see all the lovely, lovely pictures of Mimi didi during her roka ceremony to that gora-chitta foreign boy? Haiiiii! Yellow! The colour of her lehenga...a tribute to Punjab! Sarson fields!" Bua was confused. She asked, "But who is Mimi didi? Kiska roka, bhai?"
"Arrey...whole world is talking about PeeCee. And you are asking whose roka?"
'You mentioned Mimi....called her 'didi'. Whose didi is Mimi? What is Mimi's connection to PeeCee?"
"Poori duniya knows Pari calls PeeCee her 'Mimi didi'..."
"Who is Pari?"
"Ufff. Pari is also a Bollywood star..."
"Achha achha...not our padosi ki beti? The one who roams around in chhotey chhotey kapde?"
"No, baba. This one is the cousin of our Desi Girl...now, please don't ask who that is."
"You are toh very ajeeb! I thought all Indian girls are desi girls. Khair. Someone called Mimi didi, who is also known as PeeCee, and is related to a person called Pari, had a roka ceremony, recently. Right? It is national news or local gossip?"
"Buaji, you are too much. How can you not be thrilled that our famous star has got engaged to a famous singer from America?"
"Very good ji. What is the puttar's good name? I hope he earns well in dollars and can look after our ladki."
"Don't worry. He is ameer, Buaji. Very ameer. Now don't get confused and ask if PeeCee is getting married to Aamir... remember, our Aamir is already shaadi shuda".
"I never said that! Hawwww ji. You think I don't know anything! I know a lot of VIPs in Bollywood and also in Hollywood. I only want to know one thing about this roka - did the boy give her a sundar si diamond ring vaghera...how many carrots?"
"Buaji, 'carats'. Not carrots. We only saw pictures. That too, not proper close-ups to check size and all that. But it looked big. People are saying one or two crores hai uski keemat."
"One or two K-roars? Toh banda achha hi hoga. Who gives like that big-big diamonds these days?"
"Buaji, PeeCee's friends from Hollywood are also saying he's a changa munda, and his parivaar has fully welcomed our kudi into their home. They are planning a big party on his 26th birthday next month."
"That is very important in our society, where girls are running away and marrying this one and that one without asking their maa-baap."
"Very true. PeeCee is a very smart girl, that way..."
"Buaji... samajh lijiye, na. So many years she has worked so hard in film industry. Now she is 36 and wants to settle down properly. She has said khullam khulla in public that she has taken him with all her heart and soul."
"That is great. Heart and soul are important. But see, we also look at bank balance, bangla-shangla, gaddi..."
"Buaji, PeeCee is very famous and very rich. She does not need anyone else's gaddi-ghar. She has many of her own."
"Toh... shaadi ki date pakki? Before or after Padmavati? What colour lehenga will she wear - that's what I want to know. She should wear red. Bas. Please tell her. And shaadi ka jodas."
"Buaji, who am I to advise such a big star? She will be a Manish bride, everybody is saying. And the dulha will come to the mandap on a ghodi. It will look very nice in pictures that way."
"Will the ceremony be on Doordarshan or not?"
"Buaji... it will be on every darshan. BBC-CNN also. People are saying Megan-ji may attend, along with Harry-ji."
"Chalo ji. Let's distribute laddoos. By the way, where will the couple live after the shaadi?"
"Buaji... they have not disclosed that so far. Aaj kal ki shaadi aisey hi hoti hai. I only hope PeeCee has taught him to sing, "Who's the hottest girl in the world?"
"Please convey my blassings to the jodi..."
"Bilkul Buaji. I am toh maha excited! I wonder what Taimur will wear to the wedding?"
(Shobhaa De is an established writer, columnist, opinion shaper and social commentator, who is considered an authority on popular culture.)
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