Sushmita Sen Recalls The Moment She Manifested Her Miss Universe Win 32 Years Ago: "Gives Me Goosebumps"

One is almost unsure of anything at the confusing age of 18, on the cusp of starting anew. But destiny wrote a different story altogether for Sushmita Sen, who made our country proud by becoming the first Indian woman to be crowned Miss Universe. It was historic, and after that, the rest is history.

Manifestation, the 50-year-old reaffirms as she chats with NDTV to revisit the most iconic milestone of her personal and professional life. One might assume the air of confidence would have gotten to her head, as a victory like that often does. But Sushmita Sen is in perfect sync with how transient life can be.

That May 21, 1994 - 32 years ago - changed her life, and she is not oblivious to that.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Sushmita Sen (@sushmitasen47)

She chronicles the moment the spotlight hit her, the winner was announced, and the crown was placed where it belonged. To everything that connects the dots until that moment, she says, "I simply wanted to be the first Indian to do that."

Sushmita Sen with her Miss Universe crown

Sushmita Sen's Big Dreams Before The World Knew Her

Sushmita Sen's win at Miss Universe 1994 is no ordinary feat. The model-turned-actress outshone 76 contestants from across the globe. She finished strongly in the preliminary rounds, progressed through the elimination stages, reached the final round and claimed her throne.

It brings a smile - almost an impossible one - as she tells us how the dream of that moment on stage began with a young girl imagining a crowd applauding her, which then became reality.

Sushmita Sen shares, "It's been 32 years; it still gives me goosebumps because it feels like it just happened a little while ago. The first thing that comes to my mind is a feeling - a feeling where you have to understand that I manifested that moment. I was very young. I realised it was possible because in my two-by-two bedroom in Vasant Kunj, I would sit and look at the ceiling fan, which was almost on my lap because of the low ceilings. In that tiny room I would watch the fan and imagine I was getting out of an auto and there were lots of people applauding. I don't know why, but they were happy to see me. I was getting out of an auto wearing huge glasses. This is how I manifested that moment."

As if it were meant to be, Sushmita Sen cites Rakesh Sharma - the first Indian in space on April 3, 1984 - and exclaims, "That feeling came from Rakesh Sharma going to space. He had the space. I wanted the universe. I wanted that feeling of being loved that much."

The Moment Of Truth

All those frames we see flash on television - the winner announced, the one crowned in utter disbelief, tears rolling, emotions scattered, words falling short.

It is indeed unrehearsed because of the tension that builds in those nanoseconds when the title is unveiled.

Sushmita Sen plays out that moment for us, "There was this moment where I realised that all the lights on the stage - it's an experience. And it's very difficult to describe unless you are there. It was a massive stage in Manila; all the lights were gigantic. In that one moment, when they announced India, all the house lights and the stage lights were switched off. A single spot followed me. In that spot, I knew this was the universe signalling: keep doing what you're doing because it works. And most importantly, at that moment, I knew my country had made history."

Is "The Essence Of Being A Woman" Still A Gift?

One of the most talked-about parts of Sushmita Sen's Miss Universe milestone is the final question and her answer that sealed the deal.

Thirty-two years ago she said, "I think being a woman is a gift of God which all of us must appreciate. The origin of a child is a mother, and is a woman. And a woman is one who shares love and who shares and shows a man what love, caring, and sharing are all about. That is the essence of a woman."

Does she still hold the same belief?

The actress says, "At 18, I don't even know how she knew so much. The DNA of that answer will never change. This world exists because we do. We bring forth that existence into the future. This life is a gift. To be born a woman is a gift. We show a man what loving, caring, sharing is about, other than being the origin of a child. If I remember correctly, that kind of summed it up. And that stays true even today."

The Pressure Of Always Looking 'Perfect'

The predetermined perception of a beauty pageant winner is often about exterior beauty: how gorgeous she looks, how perfect her features are. She's got it all. What does she have to be insecure about?

But with titles comes pressure. With recognition comes the baggage of expectations that one must live up to, and Sushmita Sen has had to live through it.

Sushmita Sen, Image Courtesy: BCCL

She says, "I did feel that pressure early on in my life, be that as a beauty pageant participant or later as an actor. In the early years of my acting career, I felt the need to always be perfect, to play up to the perception of being Miss Universe. But there has to be something that lingers, that resonates long after you have left the room. That beauty has to be deeper than what you see on the surface."

"And as you develop that side of you, get to know it, truly start becoming beautiful, people stop saying, I want to look as glamorous as you or as beautiful as you. That I inspire you is a great thing. Use it and move forward."

Surely with such a massive fan following and women looking up to her, fears and insecurities cannot be problems she has to deal with?

The actress dismisses that notion, "Please let me assure you I have every single quality, virtue, insecurity, a sense of self, the good, bad, and the ugly - the entire mix. The only difference is love; with practice and having been in the public eye for 32 years, I've gotten better at moving on. I don't stay in that. I feel insecure; I don't stay insecure. I get out of it super fast."

Sushmita Sen after winning the Miss Universe title

"So insecurities, being overwhelmed, restlessness - all of it exists. It has existed throughout the 32 years of my public life. Prior to that, I was a very insecure and shy girl. It's been quite a journey," concludes Sushmita Sen.

And with that, Sushmita Sen bringing home the glory she did, clocks another year - an honour that turns 32 years old today - and the essence of that feeling shall remain forever.

ALSO READ | Manika Vishwakarma Was Asked Same Question As Sushmita Sen At Miss Universe 1994. Her Million-Dollar Answer