This Article is From Aug 02, 2014

Please, Aamir, Keep Your Clothes On

(Shobhaa De is an established writer, columnist, opinion shaper and social commentator, who is considered an authority on popular culture.)

Clearly there is something wrong - verrrrry wrong - with the positioning. No, no, no.... not of the strategically placed tape recorder protecting Aamir Khan's manhood. But the promo itself. A 'Nangu' Kapoor dropping his towel for Sanjay Leela Bhansali (well, not in a personal context, but on screen), created ripples in 2007. But hello, chaps. This is 2014! And ahem... Ranbir was an 'unexposed' 19- year-old at the time. Aamir alas, at a ripe 49, is well past his sell-by date in the beefcake stakes.

Look at it this way: as a thinking-actor and hugely respected television anchor, he has zero competition. But we are talking body parts here, not acting parts. No matter what Raj Kumar Hirani, his partner in prime cuts, has to say, this is one stunt that hasn't hit the G-spot of female fans. About the males out there... they can speak for themselves.

Let's take a look at why the teaser pin-up poster doesn't work. For starters, it's two posters for the price of one. The ageing head doesn't belong to the body (what's with that weird, maniacal expression?). And the body does not belong. Period. At a time when lesser actors with better bods are willing to go all the way on camera, it seems like a pretty dumb move to pitch Aamir against the bunch. Remember, Ranveer Singh in ".... Ram Leela'' also did it for Sanjay Leela Bhansali, making fans wonder whether Bhansali includes a 'nanga-panga' clause in the contract for male stars.

Years ago, Rahul Bose had really cashed out on his perfectly-toned rugby butt ('English August' and 'Split Wide Open'). Then there was Karan Johar's drool-drool half-butt scene with John Abraham, in which Johnny Boy lowered his bright yellow trunks in 'Dostana' (2009).

The other star butts really don't count. I mean, do you really care whether Neil Nitin Mukesh displayed a bikini wax in a movie nobody watched ('Jail'-2009)

Aamir Khan's Full Monty is in a league of its own, because Aamir Khan himself occupies that league. One could see it coming, of course, when he went half-way in the caper film (Dhoom:3). But all fans could focus on in that dramatic, bare-torsoed opening scene were his jug ears. The body display in 'Ghajini' (2010) was far more relevant and therefore far more effective. But here again, his elaborate tattoos and buzzed hair stole the show from the taut, sculpted abs.

Since Aamir has made a sincere and strenuous effort to reinvent himself with each film and every public interest project, perhaps this marks the one time his PK promo may not generate the sort of excitement it was designed for. Hirani says his dedicated hero woke up at 3 am during the shoot and worked out for two hours before a single shot was taken. That's Aamir. Ever the perfectionist. But since he has been hosting an immensely popular television show titled 'Satyamev Jayate', one assumes he has trained himself to handle the truth. The naked truth. Nothing butt! And it is this: Aamir Khan - keep your clothes on. We will love you, anyway!

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