Man Says Parents Cancelled Christmas Event Over His Lack Of Success Compared To Cousins

A young man from Singapore has shared a painful family experience that highlights the pressure of high expectations and comparisons. He said his parents cancelled all Christmas family gatherings this year because they felt embarrassed by what they saw as his lack of success compared to his relatives.

Parents Cancel Christmas Gatherings

The 28-year-old man explained that his parents decided to cancel all planned Christmas family events because they were ashamed to face relatives. According to him, his parents felt he had not achieved enough in life when compared to his cousins, which made them uncomfortable attending family gatherings.

In a Reddit post titled "How do you manage high expectations from your family?", the man explained his childhood in a Chinese family where high-ranking careers were considered successful. Law, medicine, finance, and large corporate positions were considered commonplace. He wrote that many of his relatives are CEOs, founders, or senior positions. Even his younger cousins are working in prestigious and well-paying jobs.

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How do you manage high expectations from your family?
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Career Difficulties 

According to the man, he graduated with a low GPA and lost his first job that same year. Since then, he has been struggling to find a new one. He also explained that a major mistake he made at his previous office led to the company's closure. 

He explained that after losing his job, his parents' behaviour towards him changed markedly. They began to interact less with them and maintained emotional distance. Eventually, their anger exploded, and they decided to cancel all Christmas family gatherings. According to the man, his parents yelled at him, saying he was a source of shame and that he couldn't face relatives because of him.

The man further wrote that his parents constantly compared him to his cousins. He said that people his age had become doctors or held senior positions in multinational companies. He also said that his cousins were buying their first house or car, while he was unemployed. This comparison further exacerbated his mental distress.

He also shared that he had an older brother or sister who was very successful and well-known in Singapore in their field. The constant comparisons with this successful sibling made his situation even more difficult. The person said they have been struggling with anxiety and depression since college and now feel completely hopeless.