1. Jappian, te pappian, there's so much love to give
Expect a bone crushing hug and a peck on the cheek (sometimes ear and hair) when you meet a Punjabi. Word of advice, do not try to escape the loving death-embrace. It's not just rude, it's considered blasphemy. Aye ki kitta?
2. Patiala peg, chickan-shikan and Yo Yo Honey Singh - that's how 'we do party all night'
No matter how small the occasion, Punjabi's love to party hard. Alcohol flows in galleons, there's food enough to feed a small country and girls get their groove on in skimpy dresses. The phrase 'burn the dance floor' was probably invented in a disco in Sector 17.
3. Bullt (bullet), puls (police), Kanayda (Canada), Nyoda (Noida), we embrace the language and how!
We also love repeating our words. Dinner-shinner, mutton-shutton, party-sharty, the fun-shun intensifies this way. And what do we say to a Grammar Nazi? Tu Rehendey!
4. Hit-and-love. There's affection in every maara chand and friendship in every chapped khaani hai. If they throw an abuse your way, you're most likely their favourite person on earth.
5. We're loud and we know it
When we talk, we make sure it's at a decibel higher than normal. Why else would we serenade a girl by calling her our woofer and gladly be her amplifier?
6. Maa di dal and butter chicken
You can run, you can hide but you can't escape this staple at every Punjabi meet and greet. Chances are you're at this gathering only for the awesome food. Take at least three helpings unless you want people to think you're on a diet. Punjabis believe the way to a person's heart is through their stomach. Lassi la oye!
7. Jas, gur, har, prabh, deep, preet, jeet, meet - 101 ways to name your child
Take a word, add one of the above prefixes or suffixes or both and voila! You have yourself a Punjabi name. Don't be surprised if your friend's uncle and aunty have the same name. And don't even get started on the nicknames. Have an emotion? Name your kid Happy. Eating a nice roll? Name your kid Frankie.
8. Saanu ki? A Punjabi's response to life's toughest syapa. Lo karlo gal!
9. Bling is King
Diamond-studded pagdis, gota-work chunnis, colours of the rainbow and animal prints make up the closet of a Punjabi. Top this off with a Louis Vuitton or Chanel bag and the attire is complete. Haan ji.
10. Big fat Punjabi wedding
Put all the above points together and you have yourself the wedding of a lifetime. All the best food, alcohol, music and relatives converge for at least a seven day long party. And just for the record, no Punjabi wedding is complete without breaking into bhangra and gidda either on the dhol or on the Punjabi wedding anthems Gur Nalon Ishq Mitha and Ishq Tera Tadpave. Bolo Tara Rara!
11. Punjabiyan di shaan vakhri
Say what you want but your Punjabi friends make you laugh the hardest, they know the best dhabbas around town and are always there for you through thick and thin. They're your 2 am friends especially because you're probably out with them in their SUV, listening to songs on a blaring volume, just having fun. You have no care in the world because, you know, point 8. And there's a reason why Punjabis say "saade naal rahoge te, aish karoge". Burraha!