Therapist Busts 6 Instagram Myths That Are Ruining Modern Relationships

In recent years, relationship advice shared online has gained significant attention, often encouraging people to "never settle," believe that "if they wanted to, they would," and assume that "relationships are not meant to be hard". While these ideas may sound empowering, mental health experts warn that they may not always reflect real-life relationships.

Social media platforms such as Instagram and TikTok are overflowing with content from influencers and self-styled relationship experts explaining what they believe a healthy partnership should look like. While some advice may be helpful, professionals say much of it can create confusion and unnecessary doubt.

On April 10, licensed therapist Nadia Addesi addressed this issue in a social media post discussing the risks of viral relationship advice. She shared the post with the caption, "Deinfluencing you from TikTok advice that is ruining your relationship (As a licensed therapist)."

According to Addesi, repeated exposure to simplified advice can make it feel truthful, even when it lacks depth. "The more people say it, the more we start treating it like fact, then applying it to our own relationship without stopping to ask whether it actually fits. As a therapist, I see how much this can create insecurity and chaos," she warned.

Addesi further explained that viral opinions often cause people to question healthy relationships. "They start assuming something is wrong when what is really happening has more to do with context, communication, attachment, old wounds, and the very specific dynamic between two people," she added.

She also pointed to several common relationship myths that people should be cautious about.

"If they wanted to, they would"

"People don't automatically know what matters to you just because they love you. One of the things I'm constantly teaching is that expectations that are not communicated will turn into resentment. The real question is not whether they guessed right. It's whether they care enough to follow through once you've made your needs clear."

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"You shouldn't have to change for anyone"

"One of the clearest patterns I see is people expecting growth from their partner while acting like their own unhealthy patterns should just be accepted as who they are. A relationship cannot grow unless both people are willing to."

"A healthy relationship will never be hard"

"I think a lot of people have been taught to treat difficulty as proof that something is wrong, when usually it's just what happens when two people are trying to build a life together. There will be seasons that ask more of you. There will be decisions that stretch you,"

"Never settle"

"This one sounds empowering, but it's been twisted into always looking for better. Yes, standards matter, but I see people pass over healthy love because the internet has taught them that if a relationship is not perfect, effortless, and everything they imagined, they must be settling. There is a difference between settling and accepting that any relationship will come with flaws and two imperfect people."

"They should be your everything"

"I've seen how quickly this turns into losing yourself inside your relationship. Your partner should be a significant source of love and connection, not your entire support system. Healthy relationships exist alongside friendships, community, and your own individual identity."

"If it's meant to be, it will be"

"Fate is not an indicator of a healthy relationship. Healthy relationships are held together by work, communication, emotional maturity, and two people being willing to repair. A lot of relationships do not fail because the love was not real. They fail because love by itself was not enough."

The expert cautions that social media advice should be viewed critically, as healthy relationships are built on effort, communication and mutual understanding rather than viral slogans.