Thought People Hated Me When Films Tanked - By Saif Ali Khan

When a film is rejected there is a feeling of dejection, but then when you look at it logically, you find the strength to go back on the set the next day.

Published: January 11, 2018 17:15 IST
As told to Rohit Khilnani

My new film Kaalakaandi releases this week when I read the script, it didn't take me too long to come on board. You get an instinctive feeling about some scripts, and that happened when I heard this script. In the film, after I am detected with cancer, I want to live it up, so I end up taking LSD, which is a drug that sends you on some trip for 8 to 10 hours. I am the target audience myself for this kind of a film.

2017 was a year of learning for everyone. For me, it was not a successful year, but I learned a lot of things. I worked on making my craft better. I achieved quite a bit, I know it's a cocky thing to say myself, but I did! When films don't do well, all kinds of thoughts run through your mind. I did feel at one point that everyone hates me, and that's why they are not going to watch my films. But then as you move on you realize you are not that important, it's about the movie you are in. They don't dislike me personally. I must add that the press supports us when we do something different.

When a film is rejected there is a feeling of dejection, but then when you look at it logically, you find the strength to go back on the set the next day. Where the confidence comes from is different to different people, but it's from a solid place.

I consume a ridiculous amount of television and web series, and that helps me better my craft. Last I watched The Crown and Stranger Things, which I really liked.

About paparazzi and their interest in son Taimur

I don't dress up for the paparazzi. If I am going to the gym, I will go in my shorts. I want to be comfortable; I don't want to be known for dressing. I just want to be an actor and live my life like I would like to live it. I admire people who are dressed all the time, people who set trends. For me, these are not important things. I want the freedom to be the way I am. There might be a day I may wake up and say 'oh, I want to look smart' and dress up for the airport, but there might be a day I may just tell myself 'it's not a great day' so I'll just wear a hat and sunglasses. The fact is that we are all being photographed, a lot more than earlier. They make money. It's not as intrusive as it is in the west, not yet. They are not pointing in my bathroom. In India it's different, we pose for them and give them a good photo, and it's over. They don't follow you after that. It's an amicable relationship.

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Before Kareena and I had Taimur, we didn't anticipate the media's interest in our child. It's hard to bring up kids normally with so many cameras surrounding them. Don't know how he will react to the attention later. Sara also has a lot of cameras around her all the time, but she is in her 20s, she is doing her first film and she knows what she is getting into. She is an adult. Taimur is just one; he has just started his life. Hopefully, he will get used to it, and the idea is to make him a balanced person. He doesn't know better he knows there are cameras pointed at him so he will have to be very careful.

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