Malayalam actor Shakeela wrote in her autobiography that while she was not guilty of anything, she carried deep sadness. She wrote, "I am not guilty, but I am sad."
Shakeela became one of the biggest crowd-pullers in Malayalam cinema. At a time when several mainstream films struggled at the box office, many of Shakeela's softcore adult films emerged as commercial successes and earned several times their production costs.
Although her rapid rise through softcore films was followed by an equally swift decline, Shakeela remained a widely recognised figure in Kerala.
Recently, Shakeela revisited her earlier remarks and explained the reason behind them. She said that many people around her were interested only in her earnings rather than her well-being.
The actor told Milestone Makers, "I am not guilty... I haven't spoiled anyone's life or forced anyone to watch my films. I didn't ruin people's lives, so I am not guilty. I am just very sad. I'm sad because my own people just wanted my money, but not me."
Made on a modest budget of around Rs 12 lakh, Kinnarathumbikal (2000) went on to become a major box-office success. Reports suggest that the film earned about Rs 4 crore, turning it into one of the biggest hits of its time.
Speaking about her career, Shakeela said that she earned nearly "Rs 4 crore" during the peak of her popularity. However, she clarified that her earnings never surpassed those of the industry's biggest stars. When asked what happened to the money she made, the actor responded with irony, saying, "It's very safe with my eldest sister. She is happily settled."
When asked who betrayed her the most, Shakeela said, "My eldest sister. I used to feel sad that she hadn't come to see me. Now I pray that she doesn't come back because there's no more money left to give her."
She said that the industry paid her well and added, "People say that I was 'used', but I was paid well for what I did. They gave me good money, so they never used me in that way at all."
She also said that she doesn't think anyone tried to ruin her career. "Some say big stars in Kerala did, but I was just a small blade of grass to them. They wouldn't do that. They're big people with big hearts. It was just a wave, a trend. I knew it would go away one day," she said.
Shakeela made it clear that she does not regret doing the films she did and quipped, "That's why you're still interviewing me after 26 years. Why would I regret doing them?"
"I'd go back and study hard from kindergarten itself. I would like to go back and maybe become an IPS officer. I didn't like studying before. Teachers used to beat me, and I hated school. Even now, I avoid going to schools for shoots. But my memory is better now, and I'd learn things easily," added the actor.
