Actor Arvind Swamy has spoken about his relationship with his wife, Aparna Mukerjee, and what helps their marriage work. The Roja actor said their contrasting personalities have not come in the way of their relationship.
Arvind Swamy said they have learnt to accept their differences. He also shed light on the importance of giving each other space and having faith in each other's decisions.
Talking to Gobinath, as reported by The Indian Express, the Bombay star said, "My wife knows me. She talks a lot. She is a very extroverted person. She is friendly with everyone. Everyone likes her. She is a very bubbly and energetic character. I am very introverted. I am extroverted when it comes to my friends; otherwise, I am a very quiet person. I don't engage a lot."
The actor said his wife does not force him to join her at social gatherings. "She knows that I need the space, so she won't force me to come. This usually happens. There is not much pressure. At times, she says that it would be nice if I come. I trust her that she has put a lot of thought into it. I trust that it is important to her, so I would go," he said.
He added, "I have analysed it, and there seems to be an obligation or a requirement behind wanting me to come, either for a function, event or a birthday. If they call me to meet family or anyone, I have that trust. I won't say that I won't come."
"We must not register it like an obligation. If you want to go, you can go. If not, you can tell them. There should not be any issue because of this. Similarly, I would be happy. She can be happy only if I can be happy; I can be happy only if she is happy," he said.
Arvind Swamy finds it important to complement each other and also admit mistakes in a relationship. "Both must complement each other. When you make a mistake, you must have the courage to admit it. There must be a positive contribution, where you suggest an alternative to the other person. Similarly, they must be understanding of each other as well," he said.
The actor admitted that work stress can affect family relationships.
"At one point, due to a lot of tension and pressure, when I am with my kids, the tension and pressure gets translated into the relationship," said Arvind Swamy.
"When she sees me, I would either be irritated or preoccupied, or I might be in a situation where I have to address a few important things. We will unconsciously transfer it. The kids or people around us will feel that," he explained.
He said, "Only if I take care of myself and be happy can I transfer this happiness. I understood that after a long time."
However, he set the record straight that being responsible in a relationship does not mean sacrificing everything.
"The mindset of having to sacrifice everything - 'Let me work out for an hour' or 'I have to get some fresh air' - all this is important for sanity. When you come back from this, your interaction will be better with the people around you. If you constantly live in tension, how will your interaction be? Everything will be work-related problems, everything will be an interference. You will be giving out these messages," he said.
Talking about children, he added, "Thirty or 40 years will pass by quickly. At that point, you might not be working. At that point, your kids will only remember that whenever they tried to speak to you, you only spoke out of irritation."
"You will be thinking of all the hard work you put in. You will be thinking that you sacrificed your happiness for them. This disconnect - you would have worked and done stuff, but could have spoken to me with a smile. Isn't that what makes them happy?" he continued.
He said, "So this disconnect happens because people have different perspectives. How much I have sacrificed is not what's important. Do what is important to you. For that, do whatever makes you feel better. You have to allocate some time to it. If not, you will be transferring all that to others."
Arvind Swamy married Gayathri Ramamurthy in 1994, and they are parents to two children, a daughter named Adhira and a son named Rudra. The couple separated in 2003 and later filed for divorce by mutual consent. Their divorce was finalised in 2010.
Two years later, Arvind Swamy married lawyer Aparna Mukerjee in 2012.
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