The Tale Of A Not So Expressive Dad

I know about all the rejoicing over the birth of male children in our society. Manipulated, criticised and scrutinized it too.. And as this male grows, I have also seen how we see him with the glasses of Ghar ka aur Ghar walon ka Chirag (only hope of family and home). Of course, the women need to be responsible too. But for the men, every step is measured because the responsibility of running the family lies with him, no matter how cliched it sounds. However up in arms the so-called feminists get over this, the truth is that we all still look for a well settled, well salaried male for our daughters. Why not a homely, well mannered one?

Then comes the big daddy of it all, when this man, after efficiently and monotonously doing all his designated duties becomes a Father. The hullabaloo is all about mommies - (Trust me, I am a guilty party too) her health, her baby, her diet, her sleep, her mood, the ever-raging hormones, her aversion to relatives, friends, throwing her weight around everywhere (literally at times).

But she is not the focus here. Let's shift our focus to the man who now takes a back seat. He may not have raging hormones, but definitely experiences emotions too? So being critically examined as to how he holds his baby every time might hurt him too. Or how imperfectly he changed the last diaper, or the fact that he does not know how to check the temperature of milk in the bottle. Ever noticed that this male too might be sipping some cold tea, missing his meals, having sleepless nights, going to work without a frown and coming back home just to comfort his tired wife?

This male, who was probably the focus of attention starts wondering what went wrong the moment his wife delivered. The woman who went in nervous, wanting him emotionally and physically suddenly gets into the avatar of Jhansi ki Rani, who at the mere sight of this male loses it all. The way he sleeps, eats, snores, watches TV, turns off the lights, uses the restroom, or even walk, disturbs the sleeping baby. How his life, his friends, his family are all his and no longer theirs. Bewildered Male, his only fault, he is not good at expressing, and everything he tries to says or do innocently turns into an argument.

His shortcoming? He's always been taught crying is for girls. Expressing yourself is not a manly attribute (Mard ko dard nahi hota). He has been conditioned to perfection that he has now completely forgotten how to put it in words: ' Yes, I know The Baby Needs You, But I need you too.'

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