It's the computer's fault. Not mine.
There is no point denying it. Procrastination ails writers more than even caffeine addiction. Or perhaps that is debatable. But like Hemingway once said, there is no cure for it but to sit at 'the typewriter (computer in our case) and just bleed.'
While procrastination for everyone may mean different things, for someone who writes, let's just say the following ten stages are pretty accurate.
1. Like every great love affair, first comes staring. We begin a staring contest with the computer. You stare, the computer also..umm stares back?When are they going to invent a computer that understands what you subconsciously want to write and starts typing on its own? When?
'Once upon a time' is no longer used? How did this happen? And when? And why?
3. The internet is our saviour and I shall use it. Go online. Type in relevant keywor.... Oh God ! Facebook shows 2 notifications! Must check. It could be Hugh Jackman. *cough* Oh wait. That picture looks nice. *like* Ohhhhh! Those two are holidaying again. LOG OUT. I don't need that sort of news dampening my work-spirit today.
4. Let's re-set priorities people. Write another line, which stinks worse than the first one. Hit Del. This is when most writers begin wondering why stringing words together can seem a bit like a visit to the dentist. A wisdom tooth hurts less. Yes, it does.
5. Chill, dude. There is plenty of time. Let's watch a few videos. Because thinking is hard and taking 10 minute breaks every hour can be refreshing. Akshay Kumar was the coolest Bollywood dancer of the 90s. Just. Was.
6. Okay, okay, okay. Just relax everyone. Listen to music while sipping your 5th cup of coffee. So relaxing. Write another line. Keep it for lack of options.
Cannot decide if I want to listen to Tip tip barsa paani.. or Saawan mein lag gayi aag first.
7. By now comes acceptance of the situation. Tell yourself it is okay. That things happen when they have to happen. After all, que sera sera and all that.
Breathe in. And out. That's it. Now take a power nap. You deserve it.
8. WHAT DID YOU SAY THE TIME WAS? Stare frantically at the screen. Why won't the silly words just come already? What's taking so long? Feels like a conspiracy. Foreign hand? Spiked coffee? What is the matter with meeeeeeeeee?
9. This is it. Forget the world. There is nothing in your life but words. Just write for the love of God. Frantic, do-not-talk-to-me-right-now sort of writing just HAS TO happen. Because now you will either do, or die. More chances of dying. So just write!
Hum honge kamiyaab ek din, is the motto to live by.