Why A Little Gossip Might Actually Be Good For Your Relationship

We've all been told gossip is bad - petty, even.

But a new study suggests it might not be so terrible after all, at least when it comes to your love life.

What The Study Found

According to a recent study researchers at the University of California, Riverside, couples who indulge in light, everyday gossip actually report feeling happier and more connected to each other.

Researchers observed 76 couples through natural audio recordings of their daily lives. They found that partners spent an average of 38 minutes a day gossiping - and nearly 29 of those minutes were spent doing it together. The couples who shared these small, private exchanges tended to be happier and felt closer in their relationships.

Researchers observed 76 couples through natural audio recordings of their daily lives. Photo: Unsplash

The study also clarified that gossip isn't just about spreading rumours. It includes any talk about someone not present - positive, neutral, or slightly critical. In fact, such conversations turned out to be quite common across couples, functioning more as casual reflections than as harmful chatter.

Why It Brings Couples Closer

Sharing inside observations and reactions helps partners feel like they're on the same team. These brief, often humorous conversations after social events or interactions help couples process their day together, reinforcing trust and emotional closeness.

Researchers believe this kind of talk works like a quiet bonding ritual - something that says, "we get each other."

The Limits Of The Finding

While gossip showed a strong connection to overall happiness, its effect on relationship quality was more modest.

In other words, it's a nice addition, not a substitute for good communication. Interestingly, woman-woman couples in the study gossiped the most and also reported particularly high satisfaction levels. But since the study group was relatively small and based in Southern California, the results shouldn't be seen as universal.

How To Keep It Healthy

• Experts suggest keeping it kind and private.
• Light-hearted, mutual "debriefs" after a social gathering can strengthen connection, but mean-spirited or unkind talk can easily have the opposite effect.
• The idea is to bond, not to belittle.

The Broader View

Psychologists have long acknowledged that gossip plays social roles - from learning about others' behaviour to building connections. When couples engage in thoughtful, non-harmful gossip, it seems to serve as a small but steady reminder that they're navigating life together.

So, if you and your partner occasionally find yourselves whispering about a mutual friend's odd habit or a colleague's strange comment, don't worry too much. Science says it might actually be helping you stay close.