Homo Honge Kaamyaab

Friday July 10, 2009

A queer thing happened in India in this second week of the seventh month of 2009. An event most gay, when every patriot's prayers were answered. A week when Bapu Gandhi's dream was realized. The age old slogan "Hindu-Musim-Sikh-Isai sabhi yahan hain bhai bhai" played out. An act almost as unnatural as the one they were opposing occurred. Religious leaders of all faiths came together as one.

My gay gangrenous gang I quarantine myself from you and your disease. Yes it's a disease as diagnosed by Baba Ramdev. Is there a vaccine Baba that you can inject me with, gently? And I don't like it in the arm.

My same sex psychos I pity you for meddling with the natural order of man, as pointed out by the devout Muslim Mullah-ji. I thank thee Mullah-ji for letting our minds and bodies remain intact the way nature intended - well almost.

My deranged dude diggers I fear you for your being a threat to civilization as pointed out by the somber looking Christian priest. Don't forgive them father for they have sinned. Take them to confessional booth and make them pay.

My horrible homos I shake my head in disbelief and do ardas with Bhaiji as the Akal Takht the highest authority of Sikhism bans gay marriages in Gurudwaras! Bhaiji are you telling me thus far we allowed it? Wahe Guru I can't believe this. Have I been eating kada-prasad polluted by the shadow of these deviants?

My erring erogenous explorers, I hunt you down with trishuls and vermillion war-paint on my forehead for being a threat to the age old Hindu tradition of only making us beat up hand holding hetro-sexual couples in parks or women having a beverage in a pub.

But my friendly fags I salute you for achieving what no leader in India was able to. All religious high priests unanimously aghast at the tinkering of article 377 and in orchestra like unison they rained on this gay parade.

Oh to see India weaved together by it's inclusive composite culture. Who would have thought the Islamic Student Union of India would be protesting on the streets as the swetambar Jain priest struck a similar note in the TV studios. Who would have thought that a Christian Padre would be nodding in agreement as Baba Ramdev filed an appeal in the Supreme Court and a senior Hindutva leader echoed those sentiments and an Islamic Imam with untouched beard and clean upper lip pouted, nodded and muttering his harmony completed the symphony.

At the fag end of my hope of a united India I see a gay rainbow. Hah! Spring oh Sunflowers and bloom oh Lilies as the Pansies spread their radiant splendor.

Bapu would be proud that indeed India is the epitome of tolerance, brotherhood and religious unity. Bapu has forever been my hero, my idol. But what he could not achieve with his fasting and self-denial, an indulgent and hedonistic bunch has. I salute you my fairy God-brothers for making this come true and I almost wish I preferred hairy chests on the object of my desire to take some credit for this miracle but until I get there, in solidarity I too shall march with you for ushering in the new century as we sing what patriots hum -
"Homo Honge kaamyaab,
homo honge kaamyaab,
homo honge kaamyaab ek dinnn..."

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Posted by Suchi on Jan 14, 2010

vry interesting post on such an imp topic.grt way of puttin across the ideas!

Posted by Shivangi on Oct 18, 2009

truly truly funny......intresting prespective too

Posted by Abhijit on Jul 21, 2009

The question is not only of gay rights but the rights of any individual in our society and whether the value we place on individual rights is above religion, caste, language, social status etc. I am glad we don't have to have a cultural revolution to move forward. So cheers to us Indians for this landmark judgement.

Posted by Lakshmi on Jul 17, 2009

This is largely an influence of western culture.This is a sad thing as this has put India%u2019s moral ethics and values at the crossroads.Legalising gay sex is equivalent to criminalising sex.

Posted by Viji on Jul 14, 2009

Hi, Its a awesome and hilarious write up on this issue. If Gandhi's non-violence to FIGHT freedom struggle is one of the most innovative things for me, fighting and bringing down these nuisances with humor is the next most innovative one. I had felt the same about Divya's Pink Chaddi campaign against Muthalik %u201Cuncle%u201D of Ram Sene %uF04A Humor is the best way to bring down these good for nothing and narrow minded people. I want to know how do I add myself as a follower of this blog, so that I get updates on your new write ups. Thanks,

Posted by Alefiya on Jul 13, 2009

Well Sir, quite interesting blog of yours. Your satirical and sarcastic skills are indeed likeable. Well, though i don't really go with gayism in the country, i surely believe and support Right To Equality. Hence whether the court legalise it or not, doesnt really bother me much. I am happy with either decisions. But yes, I would surely like to thank all the gays who protested on the roads as they are reponsible for this unbreakable unity of hindu-muslim-sikh-isai which became visible to the naked eye.

Posted by Prabal Atreya on Jul 13, 2009

Abhinandan, This is brilliant piece. Liked the way you've portrayed. Keep 'em flowing.

Posted by N Ahmed on Jul 11, 2009

Homosexuals are indeed abnormal folk. There is a scientific evidence for it. They have a different psych, a different orientation and a different, un-natural instinct. They can not be considered as normal, so they should not be termed as equal. Homosexuality is a pathology and homosexuals deserve only sympathy and not 'sammaan'.

Posted by nandakumar on Jul 10, 2009

I can clearly see an action replay of the Shah Banu incident. All the unemployed, self appointed religious leaders will come out of the wood work to save the humanity in general and their religion in particular. I only wish that this Govt. doers not repeat what was done by the then Congress Govt. in response to the agitation. Iam no gay activist, but iam interested in the rule of law being upheld. We have chosen the courts to interpret the law for us, legality or otherwise of the decision can be established only by following the due process of law.

Posted by Barnali on Jul 10, 2009

True. Without going into the question of whether this was a good or bad decision from the court it was was superb to see that all these religious heads were united. Hope the gays write the history for a united India

Posted by Abhishek Sharma on Jul 10, 2009

Brilliant piece. Extremely funny but true. For those of us who are opposed to the verdict of the Delhi High Court, I suggest that you read the entire judgment on the Delhi High Court website. Its one of the best written judgment in recent years. Equality is the right of every citizen of this country. Any verdict that upholds this virtue shall be accepted by the people of India with open arms.

Posted by aahaan on Jul 10, 2009

a very well written piece abhinandan

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Abhinandan Sekhri

Abhinandan Sekhri is the writer of shows like Gustakhi Maaf and The Great Indian Tamasha on NDTV 24x7.

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