Fawning has become a popular trend among Generation Z, but many fail to understand what it really means. Fawning is a trauma response characterised by excessive people-pleasing, conflict avoidance and an anxious need to appease others to feel safe. The term, coined by psychotherapist Pete Walker, is common among Gen Zs who are navigating stress and anxiety in the digital age.
"The fawning trauma response is a learned survival response coming from chronic relationship trauma where one lived a role of suppressing needs, over accommodating others, and appeasing potential threats as a means of survival," Dr Shorouq Motwani, Psychiatrist, Lilavati Hospital, told NDTV.
Fawning means prioritising others' needs and feelings above one's own. The term is a lesser-known trauma response that joins the classic trio of fight, flight and freeze.
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What Leads To Fawning?
Fawning often develops in childhood as a way to cope with threatening or traumatic situations, particularly in emotionally unstable environments.
Individuals who fawn tend to be hypervigilant to others' moods and reactions, constantly adjusting their behaviour to avoid potential conflict or disapproval. They may struggle with setting boundaries, expressing their own needs, and standing up for themselves.
Dr Motwani said that the fawning response is reinforced in the system through chronic exposure to power, control, imbalance and invalidation; it becomes adaptive. "Over time, this dysregulated response impairs autonomy, boundary setting and emotional clarity, persisting long past the terminated trauma," he said.
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Why Is This Getting Popular Among The Younger Generation?
The fawning trauma response is becoming increasingly common among Generation Z due to better mental health literacy, relational trauma experiences, and social media-normalised validation-seeking behaviour.
Dr Motwani revealed that in competitive and emotionally invalidating environments, appeasement often acts as a conditioned coping mechanism. "It is often incorrectly misread or judged as agreeableness and a cover for managing difficult situations while maintaining autonomy, and emotional self-regulation," he said.
Breaking Free From Fawning
"While adaptive short-term and helpful for survival, fawning trauma response disrupts developing identity, limits boundary building, and increases vulnerability to creating co-dependent dynamics, emotional dysregulation, and trauma or harm in relationships," Dr Motwani said. Hence, breaking free from this behaviour becomes important.
Recognising fawning tendencies is the first step towards healing and developing healthier coping mechanisms. Therapy, mindfulness practices, and boundary-setting can help individuals overcome fawning patterns. Also, building self-compassion and self-awareness can aid in developing more authentic relationships and a stronger sense of self.
