Actor Gautami Kapoor is making headlines now, after a clip from one of her interviews is going viral on Twitter (now X).
Back in May this year, she told Hauterrfly she had once considered gifting her daughter a sex toy on her 16th birthday.
In a country where many parents still hesitate to start even a basic conversation about sex with their teenage children, Gautami's candour stood out; and while for some it was a refreshing change, others did take offence in it.
"When my daughter turned 16, I was thinking about gifting her a sex toy or a vibrator. When I discussed with her, she responded, 'Mom, have you lost it?'. I told her to think about how many mothers would go and ask their daughters, 'why don't I give you such gifts?' Why not experiment?" she told the publication.
She went on to explain that her approach was shaped by her own experiences. "What my mom didn't do with me, I want to do with my daughter. I want her to experience everything. A lot of women go through life without experiencing the pleasures of it. Why be in that situation? Today, my daughter is 19 and appreciates the fact that I had that thought and respects me for that."
How Social Media Reacted
The comment was met with mixed reactions online - some applauded her openness, others questioned the 'appropriateness' of such a gift for a teenager.
But it highlighted an important, if awkward, topic: how and when should parents talk to their children about sexual wellness? And is it so awkward for us, even in 2025, to talk about sex openly?
What Experts Say
Dr Astik Joshi, Child Adolescent And Forensic Psychiatrist at Fortis Hospital Shalimar Bagh, Delhi, says the approach to such conversations depends heavily on the individual child, the family, and the cultural context.
"From a psychiatric point of view, keeping the cultural context in mind, since the body goes through hormonal changes, including an increase in sex drive during the adolescence period, it depends on the individual and the parents on how to navigate those changes; especially if they cause any distress in the individual," he says.
Even though Dr Joshi says that there are no specific guidelines available on how to best approach the situation, as parents, one should be cognisant of the risks and benefits of adopting a certain approach, including the introduction of sex toys during the transition period from adolescence to young adulthood as the parents are still legally responsible for their children at that time.
He also points out that when minors are exposed to sexual content, the discomfort is often linked to stigma.
"When people are exposed to sexual content, especially as it relates to a minor, it may make them feel uncomfortable and unprepared to process those emotions due to the stigma associated with the content," he says.
How To Stay 'Age-Appropriate'
Dr Arohi Vardhan, Child and Adolescent Psychiatrist at mental healthcare provider Cadabam's Mindtalk, says that the question isn't "how early is too early" but rather "what to say at which stage".
She refers to the "spiral" model backed by UNESCO's International Technical Guidance, where parents start with basics and gradually build complexity with age.
- By early adolescence (10-13), she says, it's appropriate to talk about puberty-related changes, consent as a social skill, and media literacy.
- Mid-adolescence (14-16) can involve conversations about contraception, boundaries in dating, and digital risks.
- By late adolescence (16-18+), topics like pleasure can be discussed, but always framed within consent and safety.
She cautions, however, that while 16 may feel "old enough" to have such discussions, full judgment and impulse control develop only in the early-mid 20s.
"At 16, most teens can understand nuanced information about privacy, consent, safety, and private devices, if the discussion is clinical, non-coercive, and value-consistent. But adults must avoid glamorisation, pressure, or performative framing and must reinforce safety, consent, and legal boundaries," she says.
The Indian Context
In India, conversations about sexuality are often none or wrapped in modest, indirect language. Dr Vardhan stresses that this doesn't mean silence, it means choosing tone and pacing carefully.
She notes that parents must be mindful of legal boundaries, focusing on knowledge, consent, hygiene, and safety, rather than directly facilitating access to anything that could breach local laws.
A shame-free, age-appropriate dialogue, she says, is linked to better mental health outcomes in teens, compared to secretive or punitive approaches.
Why Such Comments Still Trigger Backlash
When Gautami's comment went viral online, many reacted strongly.
Dr Vardhan explains that this is partly due to "context collapse", where a private, nuanced parent-teen conversation gets reduced to a short clip that's consumed by a broad, mixed audience. "Without the tone, pacing, or safety framing, people project their own values onto it," says Dr Vardhan.
She adds that public discussion of sexual wellness by a parent can violate the "sexual scripts" of many Indian households, where such topics are considered private. This perceived breach of modesty norms, combined with the absence of visible safety framing in a viral snippet, fuels discomfort and criticism.
In India, conversations about sexuality are often none or wrapped in modest, indirect language. Photo: Unsplash
Experts agree that "too early" is when content exceeds a teen's readiness, lacks safety framing, or is delivered without consent and cultural sensitivity. "Not too early" is when education is age-appropriate, value-aligned, and centred on consent, privacy, and respect.
"The strongest consensus across adolescent research is simple: silence and shame increase risk; guided openness reduces it. At 16, many teens can handle nuanced topics if adults prioritise education over exhibition, safety over sensationalism, and dialogue over directives," Dr Vardhan concludes.
In the end, Gautami Kapoor's comment may have been provocative for some, but it opened up a conversation many families still shy away from.
Whether or not one agrees with her approach, it highlights that silence on sexual wellness leaves teenagers uninformed, while guided, age-appropriate dialogue can empower them to make safer, healthier choices.