Shefali Shah On Raising 2 Sons Amid 'Alpha Male' And 'Traditional Wife' Debate: "I Did My Best"

Shefali Shah, apart from being an award-winning actor, is an unapologetic speaker with interesting takes on marriage and parenthood. The Delhi Crime star has often candidly spoken about how she raised her two sons, Aryaman and Maurya, with lessons on gender equality.

In a recent interview with YouTuber Lilly Singh, she opened up about raising two boys in an environment where there is constant noise about the 'alpha male' and 'traditional wife' narratives.

Shefali Shah On Raising 2 Sons Amid 'Alpha Male' Debate

"Our daughters will be safe if our sons are raised right," said the actor, replying to the host. She added that she has always abided by this principle. When it comes to parenting, she has often told her boys, who are 22 and 23 years old, that they must treat others the way they want to be treated.

"It is really just as simple as that. There is nothing more and nothing less. Would you like to be treated like this? No? Don't do it to another person," she added sternly.

But Shah does not know whether she has succeeded in imparting this knowledge. "I will only know by the time they are 30. They are growing. They are going to have their own points of view. They are going to want to refute everything that an adult, a parent, or a mother says. And they are going to question it," she added.

However, the Darlings actor also said, "If they are going to behave badly, I am not going to take responsibility for it. I cannot. I did my best." She added that she might not have been the best mother, but after a point, a parent can only do so much.

According to her, when children are young, parents can advise them and shape their understanding of the world, but once they grow into adults, they will have their own opinions and make their own decisions. Hence, they must bear the consequences.

"That person has a mind of their own. I did as well as I could," she said, adding, "I think they (her sons) turned out half-decent."

Shefali Shah On Marriage

Speaking to Lilly Singh, Shefali Shah shared that she has grown up with a traditional idea of who is a 'good woman'. Reiterating the definition she grew up learning (and unlearning), she said, "A good woman is someone who listens, respects, lets go, and does not question."

Despite growing up with traditional values, she continues to challenge these norms across platforms. Especially in her interviews, Shah has always advocated for gender equality and challenged traditional gender roles and patriarchal values.

When Lilly Singh asked how she would react if her future daughter-in-law complained about her son. The actor laughed and said, "I would tell her, 'I know. I sympathise. Let's go have a drink.'"

When asked if she has always advocated marrying later in life, the actor said that she has always believed that people should not get married when they are young. She suggests that two people should spend time getting to know each other, and when they are sure, then they should get married.

"If you don't believe in the institution of marriage, don't do it," she said, adding that it is also unfair to wake up one day and decide that you cannot carry on with the relationship.

She concluded that a person should consider marriage only when they are mature enough to understand its complexities.

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