- Educated, well-spoken daughters-in-law are still expected to prioritise home over career
- A South Delhi mother wants her son's wife to be well-educated but not work after marriage
- The mother seeks a tall, fair, homely, soft-spoken, caring wife from a good family
In 2026, conversations around marriage sound modern on the surface. Profiles talk about compatibility, shared values, travel goals, financial independence and equal partnerships. Families say they want progressive matches. Young people speak the language of ambition and balance. But when it comes to the final checklist, old expectations quietly return for a section of people.
The idea of the “perfect daughter-in-law” still carries a familiar script in many homes. She should be educated, well-spoken, presentable and from a “good family”. But she should also adjust, prioritise home and in some cases, give up her career. The contradiction is hard to miss.
Recently, Jasveer Singh, CEO of Knot.Dating, a matrimonial app, shared one such experience on X. He wrote about overhearing a relationship manager speaking to a boy's mother from South Delhi. The son earns Rs 73 lakh per annum and works at a reputed company. “Good profile,” Jasveer noted. Then came the expectations.
The mother said she wanted a wife who is “tall, fair, very homely, soft spoken, caring, and from a good family.” That sounded routine. But then she added, “We are a business family. I don't want my son's wife to work after marriage.”
When the relationship manager asked, “But your son is working?”, she replied, “That's fine, he can work. I just don't want my daughter-in-law to work.”
The team suggested looking for someone who is not career-oriented. The answer was again no. She wanted the girl to be “well educated, from a reputed college, smart,” but after marriage, “no job.”
Jasveer summed up the irony sharply. “You're not looking for a partner for your son. You're looking for a well-qualified maid with a degree. And a body.” He added that this is not a one-off case. “Educated but not ambitious, modern but traditional, smart but submissive. We want the resume of a corporate achiever and the obedience of the 1950s.”
The CEO's post sparked a larger question. Are we truly ready for equal partnerships, or are we just updating the packaging while keeping the same old blueprint? Sometimes, as he wrote, “the problem is not the boys, it's the blueprint given to them.”
Marriage may be evolving. But mindsets, clearly, are far from catching up.
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