Same Demands, New Wrapper: India's Dowry Paradox

This is a story about money. And about weddings. But mostly about money.

In 2024, the Indian wedding industry was worth an estimated Rs 10 lakh crore. The wedding season alone - i.e., the 45 days between November and December most popular with traditional Hindu families - generated Rs 5.9 lakh crore, up from Rs 4.7 lakh crore the year before. The industry valuation is likely to cross Rs 14 lakh crore in 2026.

For the country's millionaires, spending includes lakhs on bridal costumes and jewellery, on venues and gourmet menus, and on travel and hospitality, as well as associated glitz and glamour. For those lower down the ladder, the demands are scaled down but, relative to restricted finances, the costs are still exorbitant and certainly proportionately more so than for the rich.

And between these rungs, the demands and costs are no less outrageous; studies said the average Indian middle-class family took on Rs 15.5 lakh in debts per wedding in 2024 and 2025. So, yes. This is a story about weddings and money.

But it isn't about what is spent as much as what is hidden.

And in most cases, what is hidden is the gold sent as gifts for the groom, boxes of household appliances to 'set up house', expensive cars (or two-wheelers), and suitcases stuffed with cash.

Social media influencer Arun Panwar, for example, was given Rs 71 lakh in cash and roughly Rs 29 lakh in gold. The parents of another influencer, Mansi, gave Rs 7 lakh in cash. And a Rajasthani groom was given a staggering Rs 15 crore in presents.

'Wedding details'... 'token of appreciation'... there are many ways in which this spending is masked.

But for most activists, it has just one name - dowry.

Case study 1: The Silent Assumption. A brother's account of his sister's wedding

NDTV spoke to a man whose sister was married in early 2026.

"It's simple: we were supposed to do it all. The parents, us siblings. That's it," he said. "There was no discussion about sharing costs. The groom's family came with 80 guests - and asked for 'milni' (cash in envelopes) for each of them. It totalled nearly Rs 1 lakh."

The man, from an urban middle-class family in north India, admitted "there were no explicit or covert demands for anything (dowry)". His family simply "gave what we wanted to give".

"This included household appliances, furniture, clothes... as two people were starting a new life. There was no concern about looking 'respectable' or anything..." he said.

Asked if the groom earned enough to buy his new family these 'gifts', the man said: "Yes, (though) he never expressed reservations while accepting it."

But, as it turned out, the receiving of gifts wasn't exactly passive. The person leading discussions on the groom's behalf had this one question for the bride's family: "What all are you giving... so we don't get the same things..."

Behind the veil

In May 2026, Twisha Sharma was found dead at her home in Bhopal - allegedly because her family couldn't give enough 'tokens of appreciation'. A post-mortem suggested she had been hit by a blunt object and had a bruise in her brain.

In the Twisha Sharma case, warning signs were trounced by 'traditions'. 

Her death - and those of other young women reported in the days after - has been seen as the hard truth behind most Indian weddings, i.e., the woman is chattel, and the groom must be paid for the privilege of allowing her to enter his household.

Case study 2: The hidden truth. An anonymous bride's account

NDTV also spoke to a woman who was married in December 2012, and she drew the curtain back on the hidden, and often layered, demands made by the groom's family.

Interviewer: When wedding talks started, did your in-laws demand anything?

Anonymous bride: They didn't demand anything initially. But then they said, 'When our other daughter-in-law came, we received this... so it should come from this bride's family too'.

They never taunted me after marriage and whatever was given as dowry, they spent it on me. My father gave cash but they made jewellery from it and gave it to me. But whatever money they should have spent on the wedding, they took from us and used it to cover their expenses.

At the time, it used to pinch me a lot. I didn't want my father to go through that - he had his own medical expenses. I felt terrible about having to give even a single rupee. But it has become so normalised we just had to live with it. I wasn't going to protest or say I wouldn't marry...

Interviewer: You have a son and daughter now. What's your take on this system now?

Anonymous bride: Now I know it's wrong. If my son gets married, there won't be demands from my end. For my daughter, I hope she chooses her partner and they marry without demands.

But since she's a girl, if the boy's side asks for something... at this point, I don't know what I will do. Maybe I'll fulfil that demand, thinking, 'She is my daughter, I should give her gifts'.

But I won't like it. I wouldn't want to marry my daughter into such a household.

Interviewer: What does your husband think?

Anonymous bride: His thought process is different. I want to save money for our children's weddings but he asks, 'Why do we need to save? If they want to get married, they can take out a loan or fund whatever kind of wedding they want themselves. I won't spend anything on it.

"Women are still perceived as something to be 'taken care of'... So you (the bride's family) pay the groom to take that responsibility off your shoulders," social scientist Ambika Chopra told NDTV. "Now you don't see dowry, at least in public, among the upper middle class (though) you have videos, i.e., 'exhibits' on Instagram in which the 'gifts' are shown off."

NDTV Analysis | The 'Good Girl' Trap That Killed Twisha Sharma

"But in the lower classes, you still find dowry as dowry."

The problem is one of worth, Chopra said, suggesting dowry will continue for as long as the bride is seen as lacking worth, i.e., apart from the wealth-generating wedding transactions and to fulfil the son-bearing aspirations of most Indian families.

NDTV Analysis | Dowry's New Packaging: Experts On How Mindset Still Persists

On dowry in rural areas, sociologist and activist Ranjana Kumari told NDTV the practice remains deeply entrenched despite changing social realities. "...there is still no question of not giving dowry," she said.

"Because the man chooses... decides, and women 'need a man'... he has the power. Therefore, he can demand dowry or 'gifts' or an expensive wedding," she explained to NDTV.

Chopra's 'economics of shifting responsibility' is important.

In a society where women are still seen as objects to be 'cared for' - and, on average, earn less than their male counterparts in almost any profession - dowry is a value-lost payment for the groom.

But there's also a "market dynamic" at play here, Audrey D'Mello, Director, Majlis Legal Centre, told NDTV.

"The law here fails because we as a society are committed to dowry. When I have a son, I get dowry. And when I have a daughter, I have to give dowry. This is the condition and we are partaking in this market negotiation," she said.

Education can play a paradoxical role when it comes to dowry demands.

"When I am sending my son to study for a professional degree or sit for the IAS exams, there is, unfortunately, a 'rate card' that goes around. Unofficially, everyone knows it and every parent is aiming to get a high price. And the flip side is this: if your daughter has, as they say, 'flaws', then you pay a higher price to find her a decent groom," she pointed out.

What the law says (and doesn't)

India banned dowry in 1961. But there are loopholes and a gulf between the law and enforcement. And legal experts believe the law in this case doesn't actually help women.

The Dowry Prohibition Act requires the groom's family to prove they did not demand dowry, rather than having the bride's family show that they, in fact, paid it. Essentially, then, it requires an admission of guilt, which removes any burden of execution on the authorities. As a result, conviction rates remain dismal - around 33 per cent according to NCRB data.

"So we don't even touch dowry provisions... it is pretty useless. It's two patriarchs (on each side) fighting over money (when a marriage ends and a legal tussle ensues). That's not what we concern ourselves with. We focus on women's rights. We use the domestic violence law in cases where demands are undocumented or inexplicit (since) it applies also to inexplicit abuse," said D'Mello.

That is because the first part, she explained, focuses on mental and physical cruelty that is 'likely to drive the woman to commit suicide, or to cause grave injury or danger to (her) life'. It also guards against (on paper, at least) 'harassment of the woman... with a view to coercing her, or any person related to her, to meet any unlawful demand for property or valuable...'

But what happens when a family takes the legal route when inexplicit dowry demands are involved?

"I tell my clients [parents] - 'khaya, piya, khatam, bhool jao (it's done, now forget it)'. You bought into this arrangement... now it's gone. They say, 'Oh, we gave so much gold, we spent so much'. Then, when it doesn't work out, they expect to get everything back," said D'Mello, urging women's parents to think about why they keep giving in to dowry demands.

She put it plainly. "A woman's parents do have a choice to walk away from dowry, right?"

D'Mello also argued the anti-dowry law, as it stands today, should be repealed in favour of more stringent domestic violence provisions "because dowry is a 'demand'... and there will be violence if a demand goes unmet".

Twisha Sharma's death wasn't an outlier.

It was the norm in a country where 5,737 women died in dowry-related violence in 2024 alone - around 16 a day - and where the socio-economic system says a woman is worth less than her husband, a price paid in cash, gold, and cars.

The question is not: 'why does dowry still happen?' It is: 'why does dowry still matter?'