- Parents in China are adopting reversed parenting by mimicking their children's behavior
- The trend began after a viral case in Heilongjiang where a mother followed her child's choice
- Three methods of reversed parenting are role reversal, consequence experience, and mirrored response
In many Chinese homes today, parents are trying a new way to raise their children. Instead of giving orders or long lectures, they are choosing to step into their children's shoes. This fresh method, called "reversed parenting", is becoming popular among millennial parents in China, reported the South China Morning Post.
The basic idea of reverse parenting is simple. Parents mimic their children's behaviours to foster greater equality and openness. This trend emerged in November 2022 after a viral incident involving a mother from Heilongjiang Province in northeastern China.
In the bitterly cold weather, the woman's three-year-old daughter insisted on going outside wearing only a light princess dress. The child confidently declared that cartoon princesses live in cold regions. Instead of forcing her to wear a coat, the mother let her go outside and calmly followed her.
Many social media users praised this approach, believing that letting a child experience it firsthand is more effective than repeated explanations. Following this incident, the trend of "reverse parenting" gained traction among young Chinese parents, which has since evolved into three distinct forms.
The first method is called "role reversal." In this, parents present themselves as weak or needy, as if they need care. Its purpose is to instill a sense of responsibility in children and improve their behavioral and emotional development.
The second method is called "Consequence Experience." This involves creating rigorous plans so that children can experience the consequences of their decisions and break bad habits.
A similar case emerged from Wuhan, Hubei Province, central China. When an eight-year-old boy insisted on dropping out of school to pursue a career in professional gaming, his parents didn't immediately refuse. They accepted his decision, but set a strict plan. The boy had to play games for 16 hours a day and submit detailed performance reports.
Initially, he was very excited, but in just three days, he gave up four times. This experience made him realize that gaming wasn't as easy or fun as he had imagined. He then adopted a more sensible approach to his future career.
The third model is called "Mirrored Response." In this, parents mimic their children's emotions or actions to encourage introspection. For example, they may mimic their child's anger or stubbornness.
A mother named Zhang Yu told Beijing Evening Post that when her three-year-old daughter was refused ice cream, she rolled on the floor in anger. Then she lay down beside her and started crying even louder. She said that surprisingly, this method proved effective, and her daughter soon stopped crying and looked at her in surprise.
Amidst the attention being received by reverse parenting, many young parents in China are experimenting with this new approach. They are trying to develop understanding and responsibility through shared experiences rather than strict discipline.
