Youngsters must get married and have children in their 20s to fulfill their “demographic duty to society and ancestors,” Zoho co-founder Sridhar Vembu has said. "I advise young entrepreneurs I meet, both men and women, to marry and have kids in their 20s and not keep postponing it," Vembu wrote on X.
"I tell them they have to do their demographic duty to society and their own ancestors. I know these notions may sound quaint or old-fashioned but I am sure these ideas will resonate again."
Vembu's comment came in response to a post by entrepreneur Upasana Konidela, vice-chairperson of Apollo Hospitals CSR and wife of actor Ram Charan.
Konidela shared her experience interacting with students at IIT Hyderabad, noticing a change in attitudes toward marriage.
“When I asked, ‘How many of you want to get married?' more men raised their hands than the women!” she wrote.
“The women seemed far more career-focused! This is the new, progressive India. Set your vision. Define your goals. Own your role. And watch yourself become unstoppable,” she said.
Vembu's comments led to a wave of counterarguments online.
A user said that the real barrier to early marriage and family formation is not cultural hesitation but economic strain. They pointed out that today's young adults face unstable incomes, intense work hours, high living costs, and rents that take up a significant share of earnings.
“It's not a demographic crisis. It's an economic one. Fix that, and hands will rise on their own,” the user wrote.
Vembu responded, “But even people who can afford to are not marrying and having kids. That is cultural.”
Another pointed out that having children in her 20s would place her career at risk in a “cut-throat” job market, where maternity breaks often slow or derail growth.
“Yes, I would love to have children above all. BUT that alone is not my sole purpose in life,” they added.
Vembu said, “Life is not a race. There is plenty of opportunity to excel at any age, and 30 is a new beginning for many people. I remember receiving this advice from my mother, and I am glad to have received it. If I were to look at life as a race, I have failed compared to Mark Zuckerberg l who is 20 years younger. Have I failed? Somehow I don't wake up every morning thinking I am a failure. I have to thank my mother for this perspective on life.”
Someone argued that urging ambitious 20-somethings to prioritise children could derail careers entirely, citing those who had families early only to end up “divorced, broke, and watching their less-encumbered peers lap them in wealth and impact.”
Vembu replied that even if someone faced setbacks by 28, there was “plenty of time” to rebuild, saying that Larry Ellison began his journey at 31. “Entrepreneurs who are older are more likely to succeed. There is plenty of time after 28,” he said.
Sridhar Vembu, 57, married Pramila Srinivasan in the late 1990s, and the couple has a son. They lived in the US. In 2020, Srinivasan filed for divorce.
In filings cited by Forbes, she alleged that Vembu left her and their son after moving to rural Tamil Nadu in early 2020 and later told her via WhatsApp that he wanted to end the marriage. She also claimed he quietly shifted key Zoho assets, including intellectual property and a majority of shares, to his sister and relatives in India without her consent, which she argued was meant to limit her and their son's rightful share under California's community-property laws.
