- Tannaz Irani grew up in a confident, equal environment shaped by strong women in her family
- She married Farid Currim at 20, an 18-year-older Muslim man, but they divorced after eight years
- She acknowledged the emotional impact her divorce had on her daughter and felt maternal guilt
Tannaz Irani has spoken in detail about her upbringing, her first marriage and divorce, and the lasting emotional impact it had on her and her daughter. Shedding light on growing up confident and unapologetic, Tannaz said her early years in the 1980s were shaped by strong women at home and an environment where equality was normal. She also opened up about how age and emotional maturity played a role in the end of her first marriage and how she later worked towards rebuilding her bond with her daughter.
Details
Speaking about her childhood, Tannaz said she never felt pressured to conform or apologise for who she was. She told Hauterrfly, "I don't give a damn; I will be whoever I want to be. I was always healthy, but nobody ever made me feel fat or uncomfortable about myself."
She credited the women in her family for shaping her confidence. "My grandmother was a diva. She wore off-shoulder clothes, flower-petal tops... the women in my house owned their space. The men never stopped them because the women kept them that way," she said.
Recalling how equality was part of her everyday life while growing up, Tannaz said, "My dad used to wake up every morning and make tea for my mother. He served her tea. He made our sandwiches too. Only when I entered the industry did I realise the outside world was very different."
Tannaz also spoke about receiving unwavering support from her family in her personal choices. "I got married to a Muslim man who was 18 years older than me. My family knew that Tannaz will always do what her heart wants," she said.
She also revealed why the marriage eventually ended. "When you're 20, you're growing so much as a woman. He was a great man and allowed me to find my own space, but I think I was looking for something else. I wanted to go out, party and do things, while he was much more mature," said Tannaz.
She said it was only later that she fully understood how the separation affected their daughter. "I realised much later that maybe it wasn't easy for my daughter at all. She was small and understood what was happening," she said.
Speaking candidly about the guilt she carried as a mother, Tannaz said, "Once you break that safety factor for a child, especially as a mother, you've broken it. Your daughter's biggest safety factor is her mother - and I broke that."
Reflecting on her actions, she added, "I think maybe I could have handled it better. If I had realised how badly this would affect people, I would never have done it that way."
Tannaz also shared how she worked towards rebuilding her relationship with her daughter over time. "She went into a shell. That was her coping mechanism. A lot of mothers ask how long they should allow that silence. My answer is - let them have it. You broke their safe home; now give them space," she said.
She further explained how she learned to take responsibility as a parent. "I started apologising constantly. I would tell her, 'I'm sorry, I didn't know any better.' But don't apologise expecting your child to instantly say, 'It's okay.' That's again making it about yourself," she said.
"Parents are not gods. They make mistakes too. Sitting like a deity waiting for your child to come back doesn't work. You have to go to them," Tannaz added.
Tannaz Irani was first married to theatre artist and performer Farid Currim at the age of 20. The marriage lasted eight years, and the couple has a daughter, Zianne. They divorced in 1993. She later married actor Bakhtiyaar Irani in 2007, and the couple has two children - a son, Zeus, and a daughter, Zara.