This Article is From Oct 21, 2014

Big Bang Theory: 10 Signs You're Not a Diwali Person

Big Bang Theory: 10 Signs You're Not a Diwali Person

Photo Courtesy: Screengrab taken from video posted on YouTube by @ManiSha tulaskar

'Tis the time to be jolly with friends and family, light candles and diyas, perhaps let off some fireworks, play cards at parties and eat to your heart's content. Except, you don't want to do any of this, not at all. You are just NOT the "let's celebrate Diwali with a bang" kind of person. For you, Diwali celebrations mean meeting people you probably don't want to meet, dealing with noise pollution and losing a whole lot of cash for no reason. You'd be happy with a small prayer ceremony at home, celebrated in peace and quiet, but is that happening? Umm, no. So we list down 10 sure-shot signs you're not a Diwali person.

1. You hate crackers with a vengeance; from the loud noise (and smoke) inducing ones to the small pataka guns little kids love to shoot while saying "hands up" repeatedly - you hate 'em all. It's impossible to walk the streets because you just don't know when a cracker may land on your head, or foot. And kids, just stop troubling the poor stray dogs already. It's really not funny at all.


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2. You know you won't get any sleep until after a week from Diwali because the DJ nights and fireworks refuse to stop. You would especially be grateful to your galli ka bachchas if only they gave you a schedule for the hours they would use as pataka-time. You really need your sleep!


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3. You hate how the scent of winter flowers in the air is suddenly replaced by the smell of burned crackers.


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4. You don't understand cards and are tired of telling yourself you just might get lucky in love this time around. Keeping money in pocket, thank you very much.


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5. You have to control the urge to slap someone when they don't know why Diwali is even celebrated. No, Mahabharat has nothing to do with it!


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6. You feel pressured to dress well and look nice. What you'd really like to do is just eat a tub of ice cream in your pyajamas. That's how you'd like like to celebrate.


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7. Meeting distant relatives, bartering gifts (most of which are useless) and having pointless conversations with them is something you detest. Work is great, marriage will happen and your weight is of no concern to anyone but you. Now go home, people.


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8. Can we take a moment to talk about how crazy people on the roads get? Of course! What else will you do in this bumper-to-bumper jam that is in fact your Diwali gift? And just for the record, all the dudes who choose to listen to blaring music and speed in their respective colonies; you need to be alive to celebrate the festival. So seriously, just slow down.


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9. That one day of festivities is enough to make you gain a month's worth of stubborn fat. You can't stop yourself from overeating all the sweets and dry fruits that are just lying around. So eat and be merry, because tomorrow (and by that we mean the unforeseen future) you will definitely be on a diet.


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10. But mostly you hate how things become so normal and mundane once the festival is over. Back to same old Diwali-less life. *sigh*


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